As i was on the last plane home,
the 6th plane,
i felt a sudden shiver,
my heart pounding like a monster,
then i suddenly realise,
that i was scared to return home.

i wanted so much to jump out,
just to get away,
but thinking that i have no other place to go to.
i wouldnt say that i dont belong,
but the feelings i used to have disappeared.

though its the birthday today,
but i feel so insecure,
i feel terribly scared,
that i dont know why,
tearful drops of salty liquid leaking.

The idea of returning,
or the idea of staying,
was neither what i would have picked.

i dont know what to expect,
and im feeling terribly wrong now.
i have no courage anymore,
just after what you told me.
not even a wish.

i would say goodbye,
if i have to.
cause i think im enough of a burden,
_ _ a_.


is this the last 15th wish?

i've returned.

peiyan.